The Quarantine Connection.

Man, where have I been?

When I come back to this place, it's like visiting an old friend.  It's nice, it's comforting, but also it's a bit sad.  I get sad that I let time, distance, and life get in between this friendship.  I always vow I'm going to visit this space more often... and then I get back to life.

So, what has life looked like since my last post, back in the summer of 2018?

I'm married.
I now have a son, who will be one next month.
I've lived through the worst part of potty-training.
I've lost a grandparent.
I've lost some friends.
I've gained some new friends.
I've strengthened some dear friendships, thanks largely to technology.
I'm feeling more and more "settled" as an educator. 
I've continued to work on that life balance of work/family/friends/community/me.  (Still working on it.)
I've learned about enneagrams.
I've finally become a podcast listener.  
We are living through a pandemic.  So, there's that.

I can say that living largely in self-isolation for weeks and being forced to face life in a whole new way has made me more eager than ever to write again.  

I struggle with this.  I need to write- it's my outlet and it's the only way I know to work through things sometimes.  It's a part of me.  I often hate posting, because I let fear get the best of me.  It isn't so much a fear that people won't like what I have to say... it's more of the fear that people will think that I am narcissistic or too self-important.  I fear that people will mutter to themselves "Who does she think she is?  Why do I care?" as they scroll past... but I have to post, because part of the writing process is publishing.  It's about being vulnerable and reaching out and maybe even connecting with someone else. That desire for connection is just as much a part of me, too. 

The older I get and the deeper we get into this "new normal," way of life, the more I think about what it means to be passionate about something, to be authentic, to throw caution to the wind, to listen to my inner voice, and to just LIVE. I ache for this kind of life.  And then I remember that I'm the only one who can make it so.

So, I will write.  I will post.  I will try to connect.  I will be terrified.  I will be authentic.

What about you?
How has this quarantine life changed your view about something you do/want to do/miss doing/need to do?


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